Carry The Load.....

Today is Memorial Day.

For all Americans it is thoughts of the beginning of the summer, outings with family, gatherings around the pool or at the lake. It is cookouts, hot dogs, and a cold beer. Family matters to all of us.

But...

Sometimes we forget what today is all about. I know all to well. Our family paid the ultimate price for what we all take for granted...our freedom to celebrate as we please today. I am not mad, I am not bitter...I am PROUD. I have sons that served. I have a son that died in the plane that he so proudly flew. He knew the danger and the risks. He choose that path anyway and with our full support and encouragement. I miss him terribly, and all the things that could have been if he was still here...but he is not and life goes on.

Yesterday a group of close friends...Navy SEALS and former football teammates took off on a 20 hour and 11 minute walk. It was "CARRY THE LOAD", dedicated to all those who have given their lives.

Stephen Holley carried Matt and two other close friends in a 20 pound back pack the entire length of the course. How do you thank someone for that? He remembers and he cares...because he served and knows about the loss of those whom he served with. I was not there, but my youngest son was and it touched him deeply. Next year we will be there. We may not make the entire journey but we will share the load that others carried for us this weekend. It is an honor and a privilege and I want to be a part of being with those who know the heartache of loss.

Thank you, Matt, for being such a special son and thanks to Clint and Stephen for honoring him today in such a special way.

http://carrytheload.org/

Off to Maui......

Top Ten Reason to Love a Man Even After Forty Years:

He does things totally out of his comfort zone

When you least expect it emotion appears that really warms your heart

When you think he is not listening he is

His face is stoic but his heart is huge

He understands me much better than I think he does

He has put up with a TYPE A over zealous woman for 40 years

He has supported my need to have a career and never fix dinner

He listens to endless chatter from me about things that he really does not care about

and does not complain

He quietly arranged a gathering of very special people to celebrate my retirement

AND....we are going to MAUI!!

I love you and thanks for a special evening!!!!

Take Me Out To The Ballgame.....

And so we did...take about 130 AVID kids for an end of the year field trip to the ballpark on $1.00 hot dog day! What a fun experience!!! Hard to believe how many kids have never been to a ballgame and really had no idea how the "All American" sport worked. The heat got a little intense so shirts went on under the hats...and then the kids laughed at themselves and commented that they looked like they left their lawnmowers and edgers on the bus....gotta love boys with a sense of humor!
"So, Mrs. Shubzda, is that it? I mean those guys really worked hard to get 2 points."

Maybe we should have had tutorials on the joy of the game. It is really not as fast paced as basketball, kids! It is sunshine, hotdogs, and doing the wave! You sit in the heat for hours and if you are lucky a fly ball comes your way...or someone in the stands behind you throws peanut shells down your back. Just expect a lazy day in the sun with a lot of friends and NO BOOKS for eight hours and you won't be let down!!!
Guess I forgot to tell this guy he was not supposed to be exausted after spending the day sitting in the bleachers. Only the old folks are allowed that liberty!

Thanks "special friends" for making me laugh (once again) and making my last days so memorable!

Monday, Monday.......

Started with storms and ended with SUNSHINE!!!!!!

Almost Goodbye.....

My head right now is in so many places and the emotion in my heart is running all over the map. I am almost there...the end. In four more class days I will close my door forever. I know that and I want that, but today made me realize that I am leaving a lot more behind than the textbooks that I will pass on the the next teacher.
We had our AVID Fun Friday end of the year celebration. It was fun, it was emotional, and it was final. I have never taught a group of kids for a year before. I have had one semester courses. I loved those kids but these kids have become mine. I know them. I have shared with them this year...the loss of a parent, the loss of one of their brothers, family dysfunction, failures, and successes. I know them. I can read what kind of day they are having in their faces. We are family and I am their AVID Mama. This is different than a regular classroom. You have to know that when you take on this assignment and this year has certainly impacted me.
I have watched an out of control little chubby boy, who surely came to me from kindergarten, actually mature and take on some responsibility. I have watched a girl from three different foster homes in one year develop enough confidence to try out for cheerleader. I have seen successes and failures and we have shared these as a family would. It was one of the greatest experiences in my teaching career.
This year has been intense and demanding. My part time job was nothing close to part time...unless you consider the paycheck (yes, there was only half going on there!!) But it was the perfect thing to experience before I walked away.
I learned and grew as much as the kids did and I am leaving a much better and understanding person. I realize how many gifts I have and how little some kids have...but they move forward, everyday looking a little bit brighter.

I have made friends. There are students I will remember forever. It has always been my goal to walk away BEFORE the word on the street is "oh man, it is time for that teacher to go!" and believe me the kids know when a teacher is past her prime!!!! I sent them off with a letter. I hope someday they find it and remember that this year was special for all of us.


As I Say Goodbye

I wanted to leave you with some thoughts before I leave you. It was never my intent to make this a one year job. After all my years of teaching, I thought I would take this coveted position as your AVID elective teacher and be with you here at North for the next four years. God, however, had different plans for me. I am leaving this year to devote time and attention to another part of my life. I am looking forward to what is ahead but I am very sad for what I am leaving behind…my precious students.
Know that this year has been one of the most special and challenging years of my career. Sometimes I was learning right along with you. I had all of the basics , but I had to learn some of the essentials of leading an AVID classroom. The most important thing I learned was how special each and everyone of you all are. You are different, unique people, each with characteristics that made you special to me. I will remember each of you fondly many years from now because from each of you I learned a lesson. I learned that you all are fighters. Some of you have struggled through more in your short life than many people will ever face. You have strength that is unbelievable. Always use that strength to conquer the roadblocks that lie ahead. You can do it. You just have to believe you can.
Always want to learn. Even when your formal education is over challenge yourself to do something new. Learn to paint, take a photography class, try a new sport, read a novel for pleasure…make education a lifelong adventure. I must have had a good teacher somewhere along the way because even today I find pleasure in learning. My job was a new adventure. I could have spent the last years before retirement in a very easy teaching assignment that had been my comfort zone for years but new things make you grow and I was ready to grow in a new direction. I will never regret my decision because with a job change came the opportunity to work with some of the most incredible kids I have ever met…YOU!

As you move forward remember these things……
Follow your heart
Be careful what you say
Contribute
Learn to keep a secret
Take risks
Make and keep good friends
Work hard
Be positive
Live passionately
Be thankful
Believe
Laugh
Let grudges and anger go
Enjoy music
Sometimes take the harder path
Dream
Challenge yourself
Have fun
Give your time and talent to help someone else


GO OUT AND MAKE YOUR LIFE EXTRAORDINARY!!!!!!!!!!
Most important…remember your Freshman AVID teacher! Go fulfill your destiny!
I will miss you!

Another Year.....

Another year has passed and another generous scholarship has been awarded in Matt's name. This is a tough time of the year for me. It all starts about a month before the awards ceremony with reading through many student applications that are more than deserving of the scholarship that means so much to me.
When the list is finalized, we interview six very worthy students. It is always a bittersweet moment...knowing that one of these kids will receive a sizable amount of money. If Matt was still here there would be no scholarship...but he is not, so this is a tribute to his memory. A parent could not be any prouder that I am to have him remembered in such a wonderful way. Matt was constantly seeking knowledge. Mediocre was not in his vocabulary...he wanted to excel and he did. He would be proud to be remembered in this way.
A close friend...a very close friend presented the award today. I have such a hard time with this. Standing on the stage in that auditorium where Matt stood so many times is so emotional. I try but it never goes well.
I am thankful. I am blessed. I am constantly reminded we should all give back and Matt does...still. As I have quoted many times "It is not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go".
Thank you Matt, for leaving so much behind.

It's A Disorder......

It probably falls under OCD...or obsessive compulsive disorder ( a disorder characterized by compulsive or repetitive behaviors)! This so describes my need for perfection when it comes to anything and recently it happens to be the need to take a perfect picture. So...right now I am deep in trying to comprehend the techniques in about a dozen digital photography books. The drive to conquer this includes classes, books and camera manuals...OH MY! The cost..we really should not discuss that part!

This is not an ongoing thing. This just happens to be my obsession right now. I do change on a regular basis so maybe it is not really an illness...I am trying to reassure myself! It depends on the time of year or maybe the weather. I might be in the mood to create a perfect quilt square. Maybe I am working on a scrapbook and I am buried in scrapbook manuals. There is always a better way to assemble the page. I know if I look through enough books I can find it! I think that maybe along with OCD, I have a touch of ADD. This might be why I can make half of my bed and then go clean half of my kitchen. I always finish all the tasks but not always in a cohesive manner. So right now I am determined to complete all of the books I have purchased on fine tuning the use of a diital camera.

My routine OCD combined with a touch of ADD might be why my husband is always AWOL on the weekends!!!

Fry Daddy....

And so they did (the dads that is)...fried up a great meal for the moms, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers for Mother's Day.
Catfish and crappie cooked to a golden brown with hush puppies, fries and all of the sides for an absolutely perfect meal. I will skip any comments about the artery clogging effects that many of these meals would have on the body!
It was a great afternoon shared with special friends and family....well, minus the breadwinner on the Shubzda side ...poor Jimmy...who was as usual off earning a living.
Can't make the event? Well, let's just text a picture of what he is missing while he works. According to my husband, "Now that is just wrong!!!"

A Tale of Two Moms....

It is almost Mother's Day and as I browse all of the postings on Facebook, I see friends all posting pictures of their mom's in honor of this special day. I have lost my mom...I have lost both of my moms. One was given to me at birth and the other was a gift when I married my husband. I have wonderful memories of them both, though they were both a contrast in personalities.

My mom was:

cornish hens and wild rice

a cocktail at the dinner hour

fine china and crystal at every holiday meal

yard work and plant loving

a person who loved to entertain

a lover of needlework in her spare time

a grandmother who gave me money so I could buy the kids gifts

a loving mom

a great grandmother

My mother-in-law was:

cornbread and beans

sweet tea in the evening
paper plates and lots of family on the holidays
a mom who loved watching wrestling in her spare time (and there was not much of that with five kids)
a person who loved to be with her kids and was not much on entertaining
a perfect grandmother
someone who loved to buy the kids gifts herself and her favorite was red and white outfits for Valentines Day

the best mother in law on the planet

I miss them both today. They both hold a special place in my heart for entirely different reasons. I was blessed. I wish my kids had more time with them They were young when they both died. I am sad they never knew they joy of a great grandchild. I am sad there were no grandparents at my children's weddings. But, I was lucky. I had the best of both worlds when it came to "MOMS".

This weekend I hope they are spending time with the child who allowed me to be called mom for the first time..my oldest son. I miss you Mom, Grandma Shubzda, and Matt. Have a wonderful weekend.