My New Accessory......

Well, I imagine this made you look several times!

Yes, this is my new mouth wear.  Just got it this morning.  Been waiting on this prize for close to a year.  When you know your front tooth is falling out, I assure you wait as long as you can before you pull the trigger and have the surgeon yank it!

 I will now have the pleasure of getting up in the morning and brushing my teeth (minus one) and putting on my usual day wear of yoga pants, tee shirt, and flip flops, and completing my outfit with this lovely "flipper"....for 7 to 8 months!

In my infinite wisdom I choose to put this ordeal off until it now requires a bone graft, then an implanted titanium post and finally somewhere around the holidays a tooth.

It is not just the trauma of having no front tooth...it is the financial toll it took on my bank account.  I try not to focus on the $$$$'s.  We are lucky enough I can do this but when you dump $4100 out of your wallet (that is after insurance did their part) it tends to take your breath away!

For that amount of money I could:

*Spend a week in New York strolling in Central Park, dining with the stars, seeing everything on Broadway, and sleeping in the best hotels.

*I could be wearing some serious BLING!!!!

* I could treat the family to a fun little vacation together.

*I could redo my master bath.
*I could replace the chair and ottoman in the family room with a recliner for Jimmy...I could replace the whole family room with new furniture.

*I could travel to Kenya to meet our foster son.

*I could have someone clean my house for me for the rest of my life.

*I could even get Jimmy a yard man so he did not have to mow two lawns every week.  

Or I could have just left the tooth out and signed up to be a cast member on "Duck Dynasty".

I think the outfit I wear daily, my extra large hair, and lack of a front tooth would entitle me to a spot in the main house!

As disclaimer once again on my end....I am in a drug induced state, the pain pill is starting to wear off, and I am heading to the kitchen for water and another handful of meds.  Maybe when I wake up I will find this whole thing funny, but right now I wish I was in New York.

In The Midst....

In the midst of the sorrow of losing Gary comes the joy of the baptism of Eli. 

Sometimes God knows that it takes a gentle nudge to remind us of His goodness.

As Gary met God through his death.....Eli met God through the sacrament of Baptism.

Just a reminder of the gift of our faith.

"Baptized in water, sealed by the Spirit, marked with the sign of Christ, our King; 
Born of one Father, we are his children, joyfully now God's praise we sing. "

Broken.....

Broken is really what I am feeling right now.  It is just not me, it is our entire family as we try and process the tragic loss of my niece's husband on Wednesday night.  A wreck, a serious wreck, gone instantly, at the scene.  Gary was on his way home from a business trip, just an hour away from his wife and daughter when his truck was broadsided by a semi, and in that moment a child lost a father and  Tammy lost her husband.  Gary was 33...far too young to become a fatality.

Gary's death is a grim reminder that we never know what the day holds when we wake up.  I think I learned that early, though the first recollection I have of tragic loss was my husband's brother just five months after we were married.  Only 17 year's old..Bill was killed walking across a street.  Hit by another teenager.  Watching our family, most of all my mother-in-law cope is forever ingrained in my mind.  Her son was gone.  He walked out the door and moments later he was dead.  How do you deal with that?  My first born son was named after Bill...William Seth Shubzda.  We called our baby Matthew Seth Shubzda.

I was forced to face first hand the tragic loss I saw my mother-in-law handle when Matt was gone in that same kind of awful second.  Just one moment...not a lengthy illness, but a moment that changed our lives for ever.  I wanted to back up time and do this all over again.  I wanted to change the course of that plane.  If only Matt had just moved a little more to the right or left, if only Bill had come back in for a drink of water, if only Gary had not tried to turn around on that road...if only.

I know that we all have days we want to be over just because maybe we don't feel like making dinner, or the line at the bank took too long, or the weather was awful, or we have a headache.  Oh how Bill, Matt, and Gary would love to have one of those days.    

This has once again been a reminder of what we take for granted, of the time we waste being angry, or the things we do not take the time to be grateful for.  In every bad day is some good, even if it is just the fact that we woke up.  Finding reasons to be thankful might put a smile back on our face.

Oh, how we will all miss Gary.  He was happy.  He was always that easy going, seemingly carefree soul that did not appear to have a problem in this world.  The perfect way to live your life.
The picture of our family has changed once again.  It is not the expected change like the death of a parent, but the loss of someone taken far too early in life.  We don't understand, but we pray...for healing and for acceptance as we stick together because that is what our family has done through far too many tragic moments.

I am thankful tonight for all the pictures the family complains about me taking.  I snap far too many....but tonight it was so easy for me to find reminders of that grin that will put a smile on my face when I think of Gary...he left a hole in the family that breaks all of our hearts.

"In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ…..In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."

1 Peter 1 3-6

Even in the darkness light dawns for the upright, for the  gracious and compassionate and righteous man....He will have no fear of bad news: his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Psalm 112: 4,7

Sunshine and Smiles......

"Oh, what a beautiful morning,

Oh, what a beautiful day, 

I've got a beautiful feeling,

 Everything's going my way"

I was just listening to Hugh Jackman sing on "Katie" and boy did his words (and his face) make me smile!!!  Seems pretty appropriate to think in terms of beautiful now that we have been able to bust out of this dreary freeze we have been in for weeks.

 What a blessing to get out of the house!!!  Cabin fever had us all about to resort to drastic measures for a little outside time.  Fresh air feels so good when you have been confined to interior walls.

Makes us all have a whole new attitude....and surely helps keep my New Years Resolution on track!

Snowed In Again......

 Well, this morning found us blanketed in the white stuff once again...unexpectedly.  Being ever so glad I had not accepted a sub job that would have meant I would have been on the roads at 6:45 a.m., I just turned up my electric blanket and decided it would be a good time to reflect.  I am likely to reflect on LOTS of things depending on the day but we are half way through January so maybe it was time to think about how my New Years resolution was going. I am not one ounce lighter, but I did not put weight loss on my list.  I have not walked so much as a block, but I did not resolve to exercise either.

I just decided it was time to have a better attitude this year.  If Dr Phil was sitting here, he would of course ask, "AND HOW IS THAT WORKING FOR YOU?"

 I guess to get a really definitive answer you would have to ask those around me, but personally I feel  much less stressed than I have been in awhile.  For instance, I am not at all bothered by the overloaded trash can in my pantry.  My hubby is retired now and where I might normally be in an angered state because he was on the couch reading his iPad instead of tackling garbage...well, I don't care.  I just take it out myself. I don't even complain to all my phone friends that he is sitting and I am working!

 My, usual "I NEED PROZAC" moments, when I am surrounded by shoppers on their cell phones.  Not to worry, I am fine.  Not even flustered.  So what that I have to listen to them talk about their missing member in their bridge club.  I  repeat....I am fine.  What if it takes ten extra minutes in the check out line because they don't know that the cashier is waiting for them...I will just play another game on my phone while I wait.

It is all about attitude and I will continue to be patient and understanding even if it kills me.

And while I am reflecting, I am so sorry I never stood in the kitchen with my mother.  She was a great cook.  I just was NOT interested.  So now, while trying to duplicate her German Potato Salad and fresh green bean I have to admit I am an EPIC fail.  It would have taken so little time to pay attention.  I am just not too good at paying attention to anything, except an overflowing trash can and shoppers on their cell phones.
Attitude...just 11 1/2 months to go.

Goodbye Good Friend.......

 I have started this post about five times and then sadly erased it and walked away...simply because I do not know what to say.  I was thinking only positive thoughts as we entered 2013.  We had our share of negativity in 2012 so this year was going to be great.  

We lost a friend yesterday....a great friend.  Walter was our lake buddy.  He and Jimmy were the best of friends...from the day we bought our lake home on wheels (our single wide trailer that literally stunk) we knew that we found gold in our next door neighbors.  Walter and Doris were senior citizens...recently retired at 65, and us at a young 50 years of age, we bonded over lawnmowers and cold beer.  

We looked forward to going to the lake just so we could visit with them.  Jimmy never missed a weekend.  He and Walter shared lawn mowing duties...one mowed and the other trimmed.  They managed two lots together with never a problem.  They were always in sync.

Six years ago when we moved to a lake house with a foundation it was a bit of a sad time.  Half the fun of being at the lake was our neighbors.  We continued our get togethers and visited over breakfast and Mexican food.  A trip to Cedar Creek without seeing Walter and Doris just did not seem right.

Walter and Doris never had kids....we were their kids, and our kids were like their grandkids.  Never mind that there was really only 15 years difference in our ages, they were our adopted parents!

Walter went to the lake for the last time yesterday.  He drove from his home in Arlington to meet a man about a water leak.  He never met with the man.  He died in his truck from a massive heart attack...one day after his 80th birthday.  Perfectly healthy at breakfast and gone by early afternoon.

As I think about all of this I guess I am just really sad for us.  How can you be sad for Walter?  He had 80 wonderful years.  He is gone.  No lengthy illness, no suffering, no life support for endless days...he is just gone.  And he left this world in one of his favorite places...his house at the lake. A perfect scenario.  We should all be so lucky.  

We will miss you Walter....more than I have words for.  You were nothing  but a genuine gentleman.  

Goodbye good friend.

Look Who's One!!!!.......

 Finley

aka....

Fin

Finny Winny

Swiper

Sunshine

 Our baby is a year old today.  How can that be???

A year ago this precious bundle arrived and I had no idea there would be room in my heart to love anyone as much as I loved Brooklynn.

 I was so wrong.  

She is appropriately called "Sunshine" by her daddy.  She is exactly that.  

Finley is a big smile and a bundle of love all day long.

I am blessed in a way that I cannot describe.  

There are great things on the horizon in 2013....

and we started out with smiles, cake, and SUNSHINE!

Welcome 2013!.....

It's here!!!

Yes, I stayed up for the second year in a row to watch the calendar roll over to a new year.  It made me a bit sad.  2012 is a known.  2013 is a clean slate and 365 days of unknown.  I can determine some of the direction the year goes but not all.  For a compulsive, type A personality, knowing that part of what lies in this next year is not under my control is difficult! So I am just going to try and sit back and enjoy.

I know that for our family 2012 will include a wedding!  That is nothing but wonderful!  Looking forward to that gives much joy to this first day of the year.  I know that I will continue to enjoy watching my grandbabies grow and learn and there will be more hugs and snuggles!  Another great thought for the new year.

The rest...we just leave to chance and enjoy each day to the fullest.

So in lies my New Year's resolution.  No diets, no plans for healthy eating, no ideas that my day will start with a two mile walk, no swearing off diet cokes.  I resolve during 2012 to be happy at the end of each day about the way I spend my time.  I want to know that my waking hours were not wasted.  That does not mean I have to be eternally productive....just happy. My resolution is about attitude.  I want to write on the page at the end of the day that it was a good day.  Simple enough?  It would probably be easier to swear off diet cokes than be happy all of the time but I am going to try!
Leaving this with my favorite thoughts from an unknown author that always make the new year make sense to me.....
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

Happy 2013!