I Think I Can, I Think I Can.....

I think I can make it through the season without writing lengthy posts about the Cowboys, the quarterback, the owner, and their win/loss record at this point in the season.

I think I can stick to my resolution NOT to make disparaging remarks about all the "special plays" on the field that should send an owner who is paying these guys the BIG bucks to perform into cardiac arrest.

I think I can be hopeful that next week will be better.

I think I can still wear my Cowboy jersey out in public without fear of embarrassment.

I think I can still read the Monday morning sports section and find something of redeeming value in it.

I THINK I CAN

I THINK I CAN!!!

Channeling My Mother......

I remember growing up I would do something and think "Oh my gosh, I am becoming my mother". That is back when it was not at all cool to be a clone of the one that birthed you. In my years as a young adult, I would be a bit sad that I was not more like my mom. She cooked wonderful meals, I did not. I am a baker. My mom joined with her friends monthly to play bridge. I am a sworn "BUNKO" player the second Wednesday of each month. Mom spent her idle time with a needle and thread and a bowl of sequins, creating glorious Christmas stockings and table runners. Sorry, not for me. Give me piles of cotton and I am in fabric and sewing heaven. Mom never went to bed with a dirty kitchen. Not here. Sadly, dishes sitting in the sink over night are commonplace. I am probably reading facebook waiting for them to jump in the dishwasher by themselves. My mom loved to travel.... not me. Seventy two miles down the road to the lake is far enough for me. I need to be around my surroundings. That is my comfort zone. But, today it happened. I was in Kroger this late October afternoon when I realized I had morphed into mom. There I was on this cool fall day in shorts, a sleeveless shirt, and flip flops...yep, my mom! I think the only time I ever saw mom in something with sleeves was when it snowed...and shorts pretty much year round! Ruffles...about 90 percent of the clothes in my closet are embellished with a ruffle of some sort. Came by it honestly...an inherited trait. Just like my mom. And another thing...driving the car. I have about a twelve mile comfort zone when I pilot an automobile. Just DO NOT like to drive. Wonder where that came from? Once again, my mom. When she passed away she had a six year old car with about 10,000 miles on it. To church and back, and the grocery store if she had too. Yes, that is me.

So I guess when we least expect it we realize that we do inherit some of the habits of our folks. Just hope I pass on something that my children appreciate and I doubt that will be a passion for ruffles!

Dear Matt.....

Today I am smiling. Oh yes, I will not deny there have been tears. It has been nine years since that terrible accident and the dreadful hours and days that followed. Nine years ago today our house was full of people. Friends who did not know what to say. I was living a nightmare...every parents worst nightmare. I remember sitting in the closet calling your cell phone over and over hoping they were wrong and you would answer. Then I called it just to hear your voice...so maybe I would not forget how it sounded. I probably will never totally accept the fact that you are not here. I still dread each September when your birthday rolls around. I should be celebrating that wonderful day but I can't, it is hard and I am sure always will be. But, today I am remembering and I am blessed. My day has been full...full of wonderful friends that have sent endless messages reminding me what an important part you played in their lives. What more could a parent ask for?

I went through several albums and each page of pictures made me smile. It reminded me how much you enjoyed life. Each day was important to you. You filled them with friends, family and making sure that you accomplished everything you set your mind to. Yes, there were challenges for me as a parent. I was not happy with your orange hair or that lovely Texas tattoo that you tried so hard to hide from me. Now that makes me laugh...it did not then! What I do remember were all the days I was so proud. No parent could ask for more from a child. You set lofty goals and reached each and every one of them. I was always proud to say "yes, that is my son". You made being a parent easy...most of the time! Thank you for that.

Thank you to for making me feel good. I was not the perfect parent but when things were tense we talked..in fact we talked a lot and oh how I miss that now. So many times I want to run something by you for your perspective on a situation and you are not here. Sometimes I talk to you anyway...I just don't get an answer anymore.

I have so much else to say. Our family is growing. You would love your niece. And...she would love you. She is amazingly smart, just like you were. I show her your picture and she recognizes you. Someday I can tell her stories but right now she does not understand. I know you watch over her and all of us and that is a comfort.

I miss you son...but I am grateful. I am so proud that God choose me to be your mom and I would take 27 years with you all over again over never having had you in my life at all. I am proud that at least four of your very close friends have children that carry your name. What an honor. I know these families and I know that their children will understand the adventurous spirit of the fighter pilot who lost his life too soon. I am grateful to Paul and Tracy, the Poulters, The Schwalbes and the Meehans for wanting a little bit of you to live on and for honoring our family in this way. Each parent should be as lucky as I have been. Thank you for sharing your laughter, your joy, and your belief that the world is a beautiful place.

You are remembered each and every day.

Love, MOM

Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

Rangers!!!!!....Just Sayin'.....

How can you not just love this ball team??!! While the Cowboys bring nothing but frustration, the Rangers bring nothing but pure pleasure! It is good, clean fun! They celebrate by spraying each other with ginger ale (out of respect to Josh Hamilton). They are not egotistic. They are REAL. And they are going to the World Series AGAIN!

I watched every second of every inning from the comfort of my living room and cheered and took pictures like I was there.

It was hard to turn it off and go to bed because it just felt good. Nolan Ryan is just plain gold. He has taken a franchise and made them believe.

Nellie Cruz...the series MVP with a heart of gold and braces on his teeth. No steroids in his medicine cabinet. He is a product of hard work.

And there are just not enough adjectives to describe Ron Washington. He makes his players believe, and he gives people like Michael Young a chance because he believes in them.

That belief in each other and the system brought them a long way. There are not quite there yet but IF they make it all the way they will have earned the right to be called World Champs and I hope they douse each other with gallons of ginger ale once again. Makes you proud to be a Texan.

Lovin' These Little Hands....

I love these precious little hands. They amaze me every time I am around Brooklynn. In two short years they have learned to do so much. Sometimes these little hands are busier than I wish they were...and it is a sure thing that you better keep your eyes on these little hands ALL of the time!

Gestures that maybe I did not take the time to notice when my kids were little are things that capture my attention now. My memories of the eight little hands that lived in my house are of all of the things they could do with them when I looked away for a moment. Things like writing their name on the wall with a tube of tooth paste, opening the refrigerator and throwing eggs on the floor, crawling in the car and using the garage door opener to escape to the park while I was changing someones diaper...and on and on.

I wish I payed more attention to the times those little hands grabbed my face and kissed me, or folded their hands and prayed.

I am so thankful for the chance to watch another set of hands grow with such a beautiful little girl. I am just very glad that this much older set of hands that I have now can still keep up!

Not So Sunny San Diego.....

Happy Birthday to Sara and "thank you" to her for requesting a trip to one of my favorite places for her special day! You do not really have to twist my arm to get me to pack a suitcase and head to the west coast EVER!

Before we left Sara "googled" an agenda and we ran from sunup to sundown to complete the list. However, we did it without to much real sun. A bit of a disappointment since that is one of the best parts of visiting but we loved it just the same and really enjoyed watching her enjoy all the sights.

The flowers made me wish for a climate that did not burn everything I planted to a crisp.

The water...well, nothing makes me happy like water.....be it the beach or the lake and we did not miss a beach in the San Diego area.

Pacific Beach's own version of the boardwalk....hanging with the locals... well, we surely looked like the tourist with cameras and purses and lack of the proper beachwear.

Balboa Park was amazing. The color everywhere was incredible and everywhere we turned a wedding was taking place. It was a perfect day to be a bride!

A Saturday night dinner cruise was a real experience and once again...a wedding aboard ship. Makes me wish I could do it all again, this time on the California coast!

Point Loma was a sobering experience. The lines of white headstones was cause for reflection, making us realize how many military personal have lost their lives.

Another beach on our list of destinations and another chance to enjoy local culture.

The hotel ducks ate my entire bag of goldfish...and then stayed to feast on my toes when the goldfish were gone.

It was perfect..the perfect length of time and we did not miss a spot on the agenda but in the end

"There is no place like home".

Brooklynn's Birthday....

Where are you going my little one, little one?

Where are you going my baby, my own?

Turn around and your tiny, turn around and your grown,

Turn around and your a young man with babes of your own.

It is joyful watching our grandchild grow...and being so blessed as to have them do this right in front of our eyes. I wonder if my grandparents realized how much they were missing having their children and grandkids so far away? We visited but not nearly enough. They missed out but I missed out too. I wish it had been different.

It is also a joy to watch your child be a parent. I am so proud of Tim and Mandy. They have raised a beautiful, loving little girl. It did not just happen. It takes time and effort to be a good parent. As a teacher I know how much those early years affect who and what a child will become. Brooklynn is blessed. She is surrounded by love. She is learning to be kind and caring. She plays, she laughs...... she is secure.

Maybe when you get to this point in life you wish you could start over. You wish you had done less laundry and played more legos. But parents have a job to do and I have watched Tim and Mandy balance all aspects of their job in a way that I admire.

Great job son and daughter in law. My grandaughter won when she was given you as parents.

It Has Arrived...

It is October 1st. I have been patiently waiting for a day that felt "fallish". I was beginning to think I would have to wait until November but today is the day. I woke up to a house that was actually cool....without the aid of a constantly running air conditioner. I opened the doors and windows and had an immediate revolution in attitude!!!
This is my favorite time of the year (well, maybe tied with spring) and I look forward to all of the things that fall brings. I just hate to have to wait so long to get started. I love fall decorations. There is nothing more fun than scouring the Pottery Barn catologs and wishing for mercury jars and twigs that make spectacular displays. I then defer to the plastic ccontainer of leaves and pumpkins that have been in my attic for years. Someday I will toss it all and start from scratch but for now it is in with the old!

Fall also means recipes with pumpkin, colors that are my favorite, and sweatshirts. It is leaves changing on the trees and kids that can once again play outside. It is Holloween and the arrival of pending holidays.

Fall actually makes me want to cook. Turning on the oven today does not make me want to escape to the North Pole for relief. I just may drag out all of those recipes that are hiding in a cabinet and just surprise the heck out of my husband.

It also means football. It is hard to be enthusiastic about a sport that should only be played when it is cool. I am ready to settle in with some snacks and cheer on my favorite teams. I have made a decision...I will not post any disparaging remarks about Tony Romo this year. I intend to be resolute in this mission. I will watch all of those "special" plays of his and not be condemning. If he falls short on the one yard line without scoring or throws an interception at the worst possible moment, I will remember he is human. I cannot promise the same for Jerry Jones. I have to have some place to go with my verbiage.

So bring on FALL!!! We have waited long enough.