A Big Step.....

I was reluctant.  In all honesty I really thought the best answer to the question was no. 

I told Kathy I would pray about it and I did but I was pretty sure that God would know what was in my heart and He would agree with me that it was not something I was meant to do.

I love my church...really love it.  We were one of the founding families of our parish.  I went to church, had my children baptized, and sent them all through religious instruction.  Then I got a bit lost.  I think it was after Matt died.  I did not want to go back to church.  It was a reminder of the large crowd of people that came to mourn the loss of my son.  I kept coming back to that day and being in that building was just too hard for me.  I left the church except for an occasional visit and it wasn't until about three and a half years ago that my attendance became regular again.  I remember the Sunday I went back....distinctly.  I knew the minute I walked through the door that I was home.  I was where I was supposed to be.  

In the last three and a half years I have found God in the most amazing way, not just in the church but in the community of people that make up the body of our church.  I have found my place in Vacation Bible School, Faith Formation, and the other ministries that have become such a part of my life.  I am  more content and possibly more fulfilled than I ever thought possible....

but then came the question

.  Would I join the team of Eucharistic Ministers?  

Would I be one of the people I respect so much that are chosen to distribute the Body and Blood of Christ during mass?  I really did not want to.  What would make me worthy of something like that?

First task besides praying for an answer...locate my Confirmation Certificate.  I was pretty sure I knew where I was confirmed but that was 55 years ago.  A call to the church seemed to lead to a dead end...they could not find it so I assumed that was my answer....it is not meant to be.  

Five days later my certificate was in my mailbox...still more prayer.  I was not convinced I had my answer yet.  They asked me again and I agreed to turn in the application which still had to be submitted for approval....maybe it would not pass the board...maybe I really was not meant for this.

Approved, and instruction and time for commissioning set up.  I guess I have an answer.  It came not like I thought, not in a direct feeling in my heart that it was right but it came when all of the pieces suddenly fell in place.  Sometimes something comes along that we do not expect and though reluctant we accept the invitation and hope that we are worthy of the assignment.  I am honored, I am nervous, I am apprehensive, and I hope that I am doing what pleases God.  It is a big step for me....I hope I am ready.

"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  then the peace of God that surpasses all understudying will guard hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4: 6-7