And So It Begins.....

I am sure that from the number of times I have mentioned Tim's deployment, it seems as though he should be ready to come home....but sadly that is not the case.  Today he actually boards the bus and then the plane to begin the long trek to Djibouti.  Yes, he has been gone for three weeks but it has been for pre-deployment training.  Mandy and the girls were fortunate enough to be able to travel to South Carolina to spend the weekend and celebrate her birthday and their seventh anniversary before he actually took off.

I have been, most honestly, an emotional wreck for a week....okay I have been an emotional wreck for two months but this last week has been a breakdown around every corner.  It is the Christmas season and we should be doing all of the fun things we always do each year....together.

But, we aren't.  We are missing an integral part of our family and I am sad.  I spend my time trying to be some kind of pillar of strength because I am not good at weakness.  But, in the moments I am alone I say bad words and get mad and wish things were different... they are not.

When I am at my lowest point God shows up, in strange and unanticipated ways.  I went to church for a meeting last night.  There was a speaker and the topic was the crosses we are given to carry.  Be joyful when we are given a burden?  I am not sure that I have prayed enough to be in joyful 

mode yet but another part of the message was very clear....

Carry your cross with strength, spirit, and dignity

and that is exactly what I have seen Tim do since he was handed this assignment.
Yes, there was God....staring ME right in the face with this message.

I miss my son, but if he can do that surely I can do that because I am the one that has the easy part of the job.  I can stay here and enjoy my grand babies and the comforts of home.  I am not the one leaving everything we thought was secure for a duty we did not see coming.  

We will be fine, and I know Tim will be too.  And Mandy? She is incredible.

  We will have one seriously faded yellow ribbon around the old oak tree when he gets back but there will be much rejoicing in the Shubzda family.  Next years Christmas will be the best one yet!

Thank heavens for those that are willing to do this job and there are hundreds of thousands who do.

Cast all of your anxiety on Him  because He cares for you..

          1Peter 5:7